tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-657041288376033242024-03-14T00:18:58.594-07:00Sharing Fire"Sharing Fire" is about
discovering meaning in our
lives through our innate power
to ignite the possibilities in
others by re-gifting the good we have each been given. The title is derived from
the Greek myth of the Titan
hero Prometheus who saved the
mortals from death by returning
the fire that the Greek god
Zeus had taken from them. This
act was called “philanthropia” –
the love of humans – and is the
origin of what we now call
philanthropy.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-71743515580174277592013-08-12T08:46:00.000-07:002013-08-12T08:46:01.602-07:00The Sharing Fire Blog has moved! Please visit us at the website below!<a href="http://sharingfire.com/blog/"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: x-large;">Sharing Fire Blog at SharingFire.com</span></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-57166560587992647692013-07-22T16:36:00.000-07:002013-07-22T16:36:00.412-07:00Do You Sacrifice Yourself to Help Others? The Third of 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Taking Care of Yourself First is Not Selfishness: </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>It is Absolutely Crucial to Your Ability to Help Others</i></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">By Marc Hardy, PhD</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I consider myself a Unitarian Universalist (as did Ralph
Waldo Emerson and Thomas Jefferson, so I am in good company). So I offer the
example of the life of Jesus not to evangelize but as an allegory to make a
point. Jesus shared his fire with many people, healing the sick and poor, preaching
his spiritual truths and teaching wisdom to those who wanted to listen. The
results of his efforts are well documented, but he did not do all of these
things alone and he took care of himself. His disciples were always near him to
assist his efforts, his needs were taken care of by others, and sitting at a
meal with friends was not unusual. He took his spiritual health very seriously
and prayed for days. He understood that in order to heal others and help them
start anew, it was important that he honored himself as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Recently, someone commented on one of my Facebook posts that my view is suspect because sometimes the people who need help the most are often the ones who are least ready to receive it and may be resistant to our help. However, the main point was missed: I very clearly stated that sacrificing yourself for others who do not respond to repeated acts of help is self destructive and serves no one. I never stated that we should withhold our encouragement from others simply because they do not immediately respond to our efforts. In the real world, however, as age brings us wisdom, we soon face the truth that there are those who continually enjoy playing the victim role and enjoy the attention they garner from others as a result. Yet, they make little attempt to help themselves and are chronically negative, pulling themselves and everyone else down into their quagmire, which extinguishes our light and does nothing to ignite their potential. Following the allegory of Jesus once again, even he advised us
not to cast our pearls before swine, meaning not to extend our help and
encouragement to others who are not ready for our message or cannot appreciate
it. So let’s take a lesson from one of the greatest healers the world has ever
known and take care of ourselves so we can better help others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Next time: <i><b>Sharing Your Fire to Foster Independence Instead of Dependence</b></i></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-17977781883979578972013-07-16T12:32:00.000-07:002013-07-17T11:59:49.798-07:00Do You Sacrifice Yourself to Help Others? The Second of 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
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<b>Share Your Fire Only with Those Who Want to be Ignited</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b>By Marc Hardy, PhD</b></div>
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A wise friend once told me, “Marc, you can do <i><b>anything
</b></i>you want in this world. But you can’t do <i><b>everything</b></i>
you want.” We need to adapt that concept to sharing our fire with others in
order to be effective and keep our flame bright. The truth is that we can help
and encourage<b> <i>anyone</i></b> we want to in this world, but we can’t help <i><b>everyone</b></i>. We
can only help those who truly desire help and are thirsting for it. We need to
discriminate so that we can identify those who are ready to accept the good
that we have to give and will use the encouragement and tools we give them to
create a better life. There are plenty of people who truly yearn for someone to believe in them and give them encouragement in their life so they can move to the next level, and they are the ones who are most likely to benefit from our efforts. Trying to help everyone, regardless of their commitment to help themselves, is not an effective way to spread the energy of our fire. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Next week: Why taking care of yourself is the <i>best</i> thing you can do for others.</b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-3163257645749172382013-07-09T12:39:00.002-07:002013-07-09T12:39:32.229-07:00Do You Sacrifice Yourself to Help Others? The First of 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">By Marc Hardy, Ph.D.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">First let me reiterate upfront that <b>I believe in paying
forward to others the good that we have been given.</b> In fact, I think helping
others is what gives meaning to our lives. <b>But I don’t believe it should be
taken to the point of destroying our lives. </b>Sacrificing our own emotional,
mental, spiritual, physical and financial health is counter-productive to helping
others and does not make the world a better place. The profound truth that we
need to embrace is that, if we deplete ourselves, we cannot give to others what
we no longer have. We need to constantly remind ourselves of this, because we
givers are often not good at giving to ourselves. If we want to sustain a life
of sharing our fire with others and leaving our mark on the world, we need to heed
the following advice: </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">D</span><span style="font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;">on’t let your ego drive you to an early death.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you are reading this, you are probably a person I
consider a “philanthropic pyromaniac” – you share your fire with anyone in
need, often to the detriment of your own well-being. A big part of this is
wanting to do good, but another part, one that is more ego-driven than it is
altruistic, is that we want to be loved, revered and respected for our efforts.
We want people to appreciate what we have done and acknowledge it once in a
while. It’s not that we want the spotlight, it’s just that we don’t want to be
taken for granted. Yet we often give to those who least appreciate or
acknowledge our help, which causes us to give even more to them in the hopes it
might be enough to garner a “thank you.” Eventually, we become exhausted from
our efforts, feel that we have failed in some way to help them. We burn out and
become bitter against them and most of mankind. Worst of all, the experience
negatively affects all aspects of our health. So learn to spot the “life
suckers” and avoid them like the plague.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Next Time: The Second of Five Reasons: <span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Why you should </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Share your fire only with those who want to be
ignited.</span></b></span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-27967109930375901822013-06-12T12:23:00.001-07:002013-08-08T10:43:36.190-07:00The Myth of Being "Self-Made"<center>
<a href="http://photo.blogpressapp.com/show_photo.php?p=13/06/12/1210.jpg"><br /><img border="0" height="281" src="http://photo.blogpressapp.com/photos/13/06/12/s_1210.jpg" style="margin: 5px;" width="210" /></a></center>
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As I was flying to New York, I thought of Donald Trump and his wealth and arrogance. Many may wonder at his ability to become so successful, but if you read his first book, "The Art of the Deal," he shares that his first big realestate deal was financed by a $6 million loan. But not from a bank: it was from his father who was a contractor who made his fortune in part from building government housing. In essence, "The Donald" got his start thanks to our taxpayer dollars. <br />
<br />
So when he brags about his successes, I grin and think that if my father had lent me $6 million to start a business, I am pretty sure I could have leveraged that into a healthy income as well. Most of us, however, do not have the benefit of wealthy parents who can share their economic fire with us and ignite our commercial potential. <br />
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No matter who we are, none of us, including The Donald, can make the the claim that we are self-made. For at least the first 18 years of our lives, other people and institutions influenced our choices and direction. Who we have become has been significantly shaped by others who have shared their fire with us in a positive way. We paid nothing for the generosity and nurturing that these people and places gifted us. The hospitals in which we were born, the medical staff who brought us safely into the world, our parents who fed and clothed us, the religious institutions that formed our spiritual beliefs, the schools that stimulated our intellect. All of these acts paid for by someone else for our benefit. Why did others give us these gifts? Because these gifts were given to them and they are simply passing them on. <br />
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No one succeeds without the help of others. We all have a debt of gratitude which we will never be able to repay to those who have helped make us who we are. Therefore, it is imperative that we share our fire with others and re-gift the good we have given. Only then will our debt of gratitude begin to be paid, and we will fully and truly experience the profound meaning of helping others create a better life and a more civil society. <br />
<br />
Marc Hardy, PhD, New York City, June 11, 2013<br />
<div class="blogpress_location">
Location:<a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?q=New%20York&z=10">New York</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-88848104010894130922013-06-09T05:07:00.001-07:002013-06-09T20:22:05.172-07:00<h1 class="headline" id="yui_3_8_1_1_1370776975123_761">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: large;">If</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: large;"> you want to know what is really deep inside the mind of actor John Malkovich, this story will give you a glimpse. Saving another person's life is a true act of "Sharing Fire" with another - the fire of life.</span></h1>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbfzdWb7-2cu_WJWFfQBA-OEwVcsEq2MgRRAWGgWTMJk8Mk5AwFfqfHvDsApD-eoBc6nrOuulL1ZoR_a9WTGXxvej6Mep3TXc0veI1QsFVxSm4nyV_Qc-UdPBMZMZLHTYVXBNjJ4kG-w/s1600/John+Malkovich.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbfzdWb7-2cu_WJWFfQBA-OEwVcsEq2MgRRAWGgWTMJk8Mk5AwFfqfHvDsApD-eoBc6nrOuulL1ZoR_a9WTGXxvej6Mep3TXc0veI1QsFVxSm4nyV_Qc-UdPBMZMZLHTYVXBNjJ4kG-w/s1600/John+Malkovich.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://movies.yahoo.com/news/john-malkovich-helps-save-life-man-bleeding-outside-003101736.html" style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: yellow;">John Malkovich Helps Save Life of Man Bleeding Outside Toronto Theater</span></a></h1>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-54690790345535994752013-03-26T12:16:00.001-07:002013-03-27T09:45:42.206-07:00How Paqui Kelly, the Other Half of “Fighting Irish” Football Coach Brian Kelly, Marked up a Big Win against Breast Cancer<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoszMe2hpoctEdYH_-fAdoPNIcRMnv84m30U2zJK5cQwKJUKhSmm6aZEGtfijNLzv8tfE-r6xWK8I2u2iyhTH2roLS2Ll7-EuHw4q9wbebM1EE5zHicnvaVRhASMitglVkR6OELoGGHw/s1600/Paqui+Kelly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoszMe2hpoctEdYH_-fAdoPNIcRMnv84m30U2zJK5cQwKJUKhSmm6aZEGtfijNLzv8tfE-r6xWK8I2u2iyhTH2roLS2Ll7-EuHw4q9wbebM1EE5zHicnvaVRhASMitglVkR6OELoGGHw/s200/Paqui+Kelly.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">10 years ago, Paqui Kelly was a 9<sup>th</sup> grade teacher
and wife of Notre Dame Football Coach Brian Kelly, (then the coach of the
Central Michigan University football team). Although she did not have a history
of breast cancer in her family and she was one of six sisters, her doctor
talked her into having a mammogram at the age of 37 as part of a physical exam
– the first one in her life. That test saved her life and shaped much of the
work of the Kelly Cares Foundation. This is her compelling story of how life
sent her an unexpected and eye opening challenge</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">.</span><a href="https://soundcloud.com/sharing-fire/how-paqui-kelly-marked-up-a"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-color: black;"> </span><span style="background-color: black;">Listen here to Dr. Marc Hardy interview P</span><span style="background-color: black;">aqui</span></span></a><span style="background-color: black; color: red;"> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">as she opens her heart and talks about how modern medicine,
love, family, faith and community helped her survive and give back. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-70959977012195175672013-02-20T12:08:00.000-08:002013-03-26T12:40:23.144-07:00A Culture of Giving in the City of Gambling...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSOd7oGP58eyocD-UCZRc0nxlL_1n70H4YZUU4cYR-BOdFs70V6MULMHvbd6g3M67ZKJ2h5vmnIamftR3o10kt26QiN6S9_m90qrbJKx18nWYGdAm2rOzcA8BugZY5uy6RbGGyEKP3ZA/s1600/Julie-Murray-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSOd7oGP58eyocD-UCZRc0nxlL_1n70H4YZUU4cYR-BOdFs70V6MULMHvbd6g3M67ZKJ2h5vmnIamftR3o10kt26QiN6S9_m90qrbJKx18nWYGdAm2rOzcA8BugZY5uy6RbGGyEKP3ZA/s320/Julie-Murray-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Julie Murray, former CEO of Three Square Food Bank</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Podcast of "Sharing Fire" in Las Vegas! Host Dr. Marc Hardy interviews Julie Murray, former CEO of Three Square Food bank about their innovative approach to feeding hungry families in Las Vegas</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://soundcloud.com/sharing-fire/sharing-fire-host-dr-marc-1" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Listen to the interview here!</span></a><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-67571192387167471642013-02-10T22:26:00.002-08:002013-02-10T22:29:50.706-08:00<span style="font-size: large;">Roxanne Spillett recently retired as CEO and President of the Boys and Girls Clubs of America and is now a Fellow at the University of Notre Dame's Nonprofit Professional Development program. In this short video she tells her story of how one invitation to a holiday party when she was a shy girl in her early 20s gave her the confidence to rise to be the leader of one of the most respected nonprofits in the world.</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-73165781189119690432013-02-10T21:21:00.004-08:002013-02-18T12:41:21.471-08:00Sharing Fire: Part 2 of Dr. Marc Hardy's Interview with Mark Germano<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/7ydtcTOehFY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<a href="http://podcast%20of%20dr.%20marc%20hardy%27s%20interview%20with%20mark%20germano%20part%202/"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Podcast of Dr. Marc Hardy's Interview with Mark Germano Part 2</span></a><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-78798592276290563162013-02-09T14:25:00.000-08:002013-02-18T12:39:06.087-08:00Part 1: From a Child of Immigrants to One of the Top Nonprofit Experts in the Nation: How Others Shared Their Fire with Mark Germano and Changed His Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/_M_F_3X8GdY/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_M_F_3X8GdY&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_M_F_3X8GdY&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
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<a href="https://soundcloud.com/sharing-fire/sharing-fire-host-dr-marc-1"><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: black;">Podcast of "Sharing Fire" host Dr. Marc Hardy's Interview with Mark Germano Part</span> 1</span></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-11507912960295064242012-12-05T10:07:00.001-08:002012-12-05T10:49:54.448-08:00A Moment with a Stranger Can Change Your Life <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Qq2CPqVdNZvNsIbdyksG-unn0-MAsZoaF04s3G7yMrW2OSWI_y3ZNsjEgH_vK0nuTYgg1WrGFZiNqFtx5boHZXUdkeyhUabfj9I0uGQLaZgXmfSBgofZTK0qJOLSdxzN57vNMgS9yQ/s1600/Marc_Hardy_03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Qq2CPqVdNZvNsIbdyksG-unn0-MAsZoaF04s3G7yMrW2OSWI_y3ZNsjEgH_vK0nuTYgg1WrGFZiNqFtx5boHZXUdkeyhUabfj9I0uGQLaZgXmfSBgofZTK0qJOLSdxzN57vNMgS9yQ/s200/Marc_Hardy_03.jpg" width="165" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dr. Marc Hardy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I like airplane travel mostly for one reason: it forces me to ignore the constant chatter about overwhelming issues like the <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/obama-firm-fiscal-cliff-amid-republican-disarray-001109069--business.html"><span style="color: white;">federal fiscal cliff </span></a>or <a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/health/diseasesconditionsandhealthtopics/health_insurance_and_managed_care/health_care_reform/index.html"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">health care reform</span></a> or...you get the idea. Instead, I am able to focus on what is really important in life, like people. On a recent trip from Indianapolis to Tampa, I was reminded that almost everyone has a story about how caring people have shared their fire and transformed his or her life. The striking woman who sat next to me in first-class seemed by all outward appearances to be extremely successful and self- confident. She shared with me that she was a lawyer and owned three homes, two in the states and one in Europe. However, as we continued to talk during the two-hour flight and I explained to her that I was on my way to present the <span style="color: white;">“<a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sharing-Fire/349053058476817"><span style="color: white;">Sharing Fire</span></a>”</span> concept with about 100 executives at the <a href="http://www.universityexecedconference.com/Keynotes-365-1166JD.html"><span style="color: white;">Conference on Management, Executive and Professional Development Programs (CMED) Conference</span></a>, her story became even more interesting and compelling. “Samantha” was born in a small town in the Midwest, one of eight children. Her father left the family when she was very young, and her impoverished mother raised her large family by herself. Two months before Samantha was to graduate from high school, her family was forced to move out of their house and she was homeless.<br />
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She stayed with various relatives and friends until she graduated, then moved to Indianapolis to live with her sister, who was planning to attend Purdue University. Not knowing what to do with her life, Samantha decided that she would also attend Purdue and major in veterinary science since she loved animals. Naively, she picked up the phone and made an appointment to meet with the Dean of the Veterinary School. Since I work at the <a href="http://business.nd.edu/npd/nonprofit_executive_programs/"><span style="color: white;">University of Notre Dame</span></a>, I know how difficult a task it is to get an appointment with the Dean, even if you are a director or a department chair. Dean’s are very busy people, so the fact that she secured an appointment with him was very impressive. She arrived for her appointment and met with the puzzled Dean, who asked who she was and wondered how she had secured an appointment with him. She said she just called up and insisted on an appointment, then she went on to explain her educational plans and shared her high school transcripts with him.<br />
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He told her, very frankly, that she did not have the academic background to be accepted into the veterinary science program. However, he was very impressed with her ambition and her drive and told her he believed she had something going for her. He was so impressed that he gave her the names of two people to contact at Indiana University in Indianapolis. He promised to call them to make an introduction, and she was to make appointments with them when she returned to Indianapolis. She followed through on his suggestion, attended college and completed her Bachelors degree, and today she holds a Law Degree. Near the end of our conversation, her eyes revealed an “ah-ha” moment, her mouth dropped open and she said, “Oh my gosh, everything that I am today, my entire life since high school, is the direct result of my 20 minute meeting with him and his belief in me. And I don’t even remember his name!”<br />
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I suggested that she try to locate him and send a letter telling him how her life turned out. Chances are he doesn't remember her name either, and may not even remember the meeting from so many years ago. But he deserves to know that sharing his fire with Samantha had a positive ripple-effect on her life and on the world. He needs to know that his life and his efforts counted with this one, promising young lady who needed someone to believe in her more than she believed in herself. Stay tuned for part two, after I hear back from Samantha and the result of her expressing her gratitude to the stranger who took a moment to change her life forever.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-77827511209297441762012-04-30T08:19:00.003-07:002012-04-30T08:19:53.349-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is a recent "Sharing Fire" interview that I did with a philanthropist from Northern Indiana, Jim Hardesty, who has donated his money to the Starke County Community Foundation and Ancilla College.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-54603634078634210302012-04-30T08:04:00.001-07:002012-04-30T08:04:56.185-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/9-aQr7RV9XM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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This is a "Sharing Fire" interview that I recently
did for WNIT Public Television. It is about a woman named “Sonshine” who is sharing
her fire with women and helping them reinvent their lives after years of drug
and alcohol abuse and incarceration. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-25028259994328473262012-04-23T12:44:00.000-07:002012-04-26T08:11:36.318-07:00Bill Ribblett: My Theatre Teacher and Life Director<br />
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At the ripe old age of 16, I was
convinced my life as I had planned it was over. A few weeks before, I had made
the Penn High School varsity football team as a full-back. However, before the
big opening game, I suffered a crushed vertebra during a run. I was not a
particularly talented athlete, but I had a huge neck and strong legs, so I
could run people over like a locomotive with my helmet if I got up enough
speed. Unfortunately, I met my match with a 235 lb. linebacker whose left arm
came crashing down on my neck just at the point of impact, and I fell in a
heap.</div>
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Lucky for me, the injury did not
result in permanent paralysis, but the doctor told me I might not be so lucky
next time. So I had to make a decision to count my blessings and quit football
or to take my chances and perhaps never walk again. So I chose walking. Now the
truth was, I never really liked playing football. The only reason I did it was
so that I could be a popular jock. I believed this would enable me to date
cheerleaders, because cheerleaders only dated jocks, but now that plan had to
be scrapped. My life as a start football player and babe magnet had come to an
end.</div>
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As I stood in the hallway,
watching my former teammates weakly nod to me as they walked by, it was clear
to me that I was no longer one of them. And since they were my only friends, I
was feeling pretty isolated and depressed. What I really needed right then was
sympathy, I wanted to hear things like “Man, that is so unfair! You could have
been one of the greats!” or “Don’t worry man, we’re playing this first game for
you!” But the only words my teammates uttered were, “Hey, how’s the neck?”, or
“Too bad, man.” </div>
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But then my speech class teacher, Bill Ribblett, approached me with a serious look on his face. Speech class was required
in high school at that time, so all of my classmates begrudgingly shuffled
their way up to the front about once a week to give some kind of presentation.
It was torture for most of us, and I complained about it just to fit in, but quite
frankly, I secretly enjoyed it. One of the few gifts I was given was a deep
base voice when I was in junior high school, so out of surprise more than
anything else people tended to listen when I spoke. However, I tended to mumble
when I had to give a presentation, so I was hoping that speech class would help
me.</div>
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As Mr. Ribblett approached me, I
fully expected him to commiserate with me over my life-changing misfortune. He
said “Mr. Hardy, I hear you’re not playing football anymore.” I replied,
mournfully, “No sir, I’m not.” And he smiled and said, “That’s great!” I was
appalled. Shocked. Here I was looking for a little compassion, and he tells me
that the end of my life as I knew it was great?! I incredulously shot back
“What’s so great about it?” He put his hand on shoulder and walked me down the
hall to his class. “Well, I’m having tryouts for the Fall school play, and I
need several male characters. I think I might have a part for you if you come
to tryouts.”</div>
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Anyone reading this does not have
to be a fan of the TV show “Glee” to know what high school football players
thought of guys who were in the choir or the theatre. In the early 70s, these
were not real men. They were guys who were to wimpy or chicken to go out for
sports. Sissy boys. It was bad enough that the entire football team had written
me off as their friend, but to add insult to injury by being in the school play
was out of the question. I would never live that down. So I laughed and said
“No way, I am not going to try out for a stupid play.” And Mr. Ribblett looked
at me with his steely blue eyes and said “Don’t worry, I understand. I mean, to
get up there in front of all those people and perform takes a lot of guts. And
obviously you don’t have any.” And he left me standing in the hallway.</div>
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There are few things worse than a
football player admitting he has no guts. In my mind it was even worse than any
names people might have called me for being in a play. I mean, after all,
Tarzan was an actor, Charlton Heston too. And God help the man who called them
sissy boys to their face. Determined to show my courage, I showed up at tryouts
the next night for the play “The Silver Whistle.” </div>
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I don’t remember much about the
tryouts, but I do remember morning announcements when the chosen cast members
were broadcast for all the school to hear. I was given the part of Oliver
Erwenter, the lead and biggest part in the play. I was elated and anguished at
the same time. I was about to change the direction of my high school life in a
major way and had no idea where all of this would end up. Little did I know
that it would also change the direction of my adult life in profound and
significant ways.</div>
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Bill worked with me
constantly, pushing me harder than I had ever been pushed. And I was awful. I know I was awful because I saw the
video tape of my rehearsals. The school had one of the first video tape
machines created, one of those one-inch reel-to-reel kind with a camera that
only recorded in black and white. Bill decided to use it as a teaching tool for
us actors and the truth was brutal. But still he kept pushing. And on opening
night, when I stepped out on the stage, a feeling of calm came over me and I
knew that the theatre was where I really belonged. </div>
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Then Bill talked me into going to
a speech contest. The truth is that students who are on a speech team are much
more dedicated to their craft than any other student in high school because
they have to get up at 5:00 a.m. almost every Saturday morning during the
coldest time of the year and ride a school bus to speech meets! No other school
event demands such dedication. But he insisted I enter the “Group Discussion”
category and I reluctantly went. Alice Colley, Howie Katz and I sat in the back
seat of Mrs. Smith’s car while she briefed us on the the discussion topic
(pollution, I think), and I remember Howie Katz taking frantic notes as I dozed
in and out during the two hour drive to Fort Wayne, Indiana. I took one page of
notes that were, quite frankly, indecipherable even to myself. </div>
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When the day was over, Alice,
Howie and I had swept the top three places of the discussion category.
Amazingly, I took first place, which made Howie livid since he knew how little
I had prepared, and quite frankly I would been a little steamed if I had been in
his place. But it became evident to me that what the judges were looking for
was someone who could listen well and then summarize all the views that had
been expressed. So basically, I simply listened to all of the facts from
everyone else and BS’d my way through the entire four rounds. But it again
showed me that communication was my strength, and I competed at the state level
for three years in a row.</div>
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I was in almost every play in
high school, and in fact met my wife, Jodie, playing opposite her on that stage
(however, it wasn’t until 25 years later that we got married! But that is
another story!). Eventually I went on to acting school and professional acting,
and I still write plays. 40 years later, I still keep in contact with Bill
Ribblett, who is a retired teachers association president in southern
California. Today I teach at the University of Notre Dame and speak to groups
all over the country about the kind of “Personal Encouragement Philanthropy”
that Bill gave to me. Thank you Bill Ribblett, I am who I am because you shared
your fire with me and believed in me more than I believed in myself.</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65704128837603324.post-73745995396386795672011-12-29T10:34:00.000-08:002011-12-29T10:34:51.225-08:00The Incredible Mrs. H<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Dottie Heminger did not look like a powerful person. She was red haired, under 5 feet tall, less than a hundred pounds, and in her mid-20s when I first met her. I was an underachieving eighth-grade student at Schmucker Middle School and she was my English teacher. My mission was to do as little as possible, and her mission ... well, let’s just say I underestimated her passion to teach.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">As it turned out, she became one of the most influential people in my life, sharing her fire of passion of learning and language that would eventually ignite my own flame. However, I was a difficult case. I was intentionally trying to hide my writing abilities in the shadows. This paranoia was the result of a previous encounter with one of my fifth-grade teachers, “Mr. Smug” we’ll call him, who accused me of cheating. He claimed that the story I wrote for class must have been written by someone older, such as my parents, because “no one in fifth-grade knows how to use the word ‘whom’ correctly in a sentence.” I was shocked and devastated. I actually thought he kept me after class to compliment me on my story. From that time until Mrs. Heminger, I worked hard to dumb down my work so I would never be accused of cheating again.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> What “Mr. Smug” didn’t know was that my father was an avid reader and there were always books in our house. We had two sets of encyclopedias that I attempted to read from A to Z before my fifth-grade dressing down. I was constantly writing stories, and in fact, had written a book with two of my friends in fourth grade. I realize now that my teacher was not looking for the exceptional, he was only expecting the norm or below. Even worse, he probably does not remember that conversation with me many years ago that so drastically affected my life.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> That was before Dottie Heminger. For the first few months of Dottie’s class, I blew off most of the class assignments. I was a “D” student at best. Then one day, she passed around a two-sheet story with lots of dialogue – but no punctuation. Our assignment, while sitting in class, was to punctuate the entire story and pass it in. It seemed fairly simple and didn’t require a lot of effort on my part, so I quickly completed the assignment and was the first student to place it on her desk. </div><div class="MsoNormal"> The following day, she asked me to stay after class. Memories of fifth-grade re-emerged and I was not looking forward to whatever awaited me. After everyone left, she said, “Mr. Hardy, you were the first one to turn in this assignment in class, so I know you didn’t cheat. The fact is, you were the only student to get one hundred percent of the punctuation correct. This tells me that you are not stupid, you are simply lazy. Therefore, I want you to know that I will be on your back for the rest of the year and I am going to push you harder than you have ever been pushed.” She wasn’t kidding. This skinny, red haired lightweight turned into a force to be reckoned with.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> I wrote and wrote and wrote. I did class projects, a class newspaper, acted in a class play (where I fell in love with theatre). I started to get lazy for a while, until one day I came home to find Mrs. Heminger having coffee with my mother in our kitchen! Can you imagine the audacity of this woman to involve my mother in my education! She had some nerve! But I fixed her. I signed up for her ninth-grade class.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> By the time I finished ninth-grade, I had completed more than 100 poems that my mother typed on onionskin paper and made into booklets for my grandmothers. I still have one of those booklets. The poems aren’t very good by adult standards, but they were the training ground for my future writing. I pick it up occasionally to remind myself that getting good at something is an ongoing process, and one that never ends no matter how old we get. I still use the writing process Dottie taught me: recall, outline, first draft, second draft, final draft. Works every time. It worked for this story.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> Several years ago, I was asked to give a speech to a group of incoming teachers in the Elkhart Community School system. I knew immediately what I was going to talk about and I invited Dottie and her husband, John, to attend, but I didn’t tell them that the speech was to honor her. That speech was about the power of the influence of a teacher and I told the story you have just read. I thanked Dottie for all the time and effort she put into teaching, and for making me understand that, although I had a gift, I needed to constantly work to become better at what I do. Dottie cried and hugged me. She told me that I had no idea what my speech had meant to her. She had just experienced the worst semester of her teaching career and she was seriously thinking about quitting. After my presentation, she realized that there were students who, like me, needed her help, and in that moment she made the decision to stay. I told her, “Don’t give up on them. Look at what you did for me.” I realized that her efforts had come full circle: I had reinvigorated the teaching passion of the woman who had reinvigorated my love of writing. That is the power of what I call “personal encouragement philanthropy.” It has a ripple effect that returns to us like waves.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Dottie is now retired and we keep in contact via email and Facebook. Today I am the Director of Nonprofit Executive Programs at the University of Notre Dame, and I would not be here if Dottie Heminger had not believed in me more than I believed in myself. God bless you Dottie, and may your example be an inspiration to all teachers who wonder if they are making a difference. Keep sharing your fire.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><i>Marc Hardy, Ph.D., is a writer and international speaker who is currently working on a new book titled “Sharing Fire: Encouraging Others to Greatness.” He is also the Director of Nonprofit Executive program at the University of Notre Dame, where he also teaches in the Master of Nonprofit Administration program. He is a graduate of the Ph.D. program in Philanthropic Studies for the Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University.<o:p></o:p></i></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11567020012495734843noreply@blogger.com0